• V

Anatomy of a bad "review"

There are two kinds of guys on review boards, ones who post and ones who "just read", allowing themselves to be influenced by whatever they find there. These fence straddlers are fond of bragging about themselves in the replies of providers on social media every time the subject comes up with "Well I take the average of a provider's reviews and don't place too much stock in one random crank" or "I review the reviewer".

If you bothered to watch my YouTube videos you already know that at one point I had 60 TER reviews, all of them genuine and unsolicited, and 58 of them giving me the maximum score for FBSM (7) along with descriptions like "best massage I ever had" (descriptions which more than one guy overlooked while just seeing the 7 and, not knowing the TER FAQ about max scores, decided my reviews that literally said "best ever" were "bad").

You already know that after those 2 ridiculous bad reviews (both of which I break down in detail on YouTube) left me with NO appointments. At ALL. Not ONE. After each of them hit the airwaves I was on tour (having already lost everything I owned), razor slim margin to net anything at all, and after I'd splashed out for $300+ a night suites (for the impression I was always expected to make whether I could afford it or not), I was left with nothing. Not one man looked at the bad review that said a guy was unhappy I'd given him 30 minutes of free massage and thought "Hey wait a minute, free massage is... good?". Not one man "reviewed the reviewer" and saw that guy had, between my reviews and others he'd written, explicitly boasted "I don't really want the massage, I just like to schedule with massage providers because I like the game (of seeing if he can push a non-FS provider into FS for a bargain)".

So on to my most recent bad "reviewer". In quotes, because he never met me but claimed he had.

I'd been traveling nonstop as usual back in January of this year, worn down by the necessity of working but fear of catching covid and the general stress of the economy, and this was on top of 2 years prior to covid of breaking even or less for a variety of factors starting with Backpage getting rid of the escort category in 2017 (that's when full service providers all pushed into the massage categories). A guy in St Louis wanted to see me in January 21 - and I wanted to see him! But along the way, over hundreds of miles of driving myself, a series of noisy, inconsiderate hotel guests, stress, the unexpected glitches of the body, I had recurring insomnia. It caused my travel dates to be shifted, a pretty common occurrence for me as, again, I'm driving long distance and anything can happen from illness to car failure to literally breaking a leg (2 years ago). So I had to move plans to see him forward a few times. I finally felt so guilty at doing so (it's funny how I feel I owe clients who've paid me nothing while many full service escorts receive enormous gifts and deposits and still talk to clients as if they're peons) that I offered to see him incredibly early on a day when he'd be unable to do anything later.

Of course as luck would have it the night before our final scheduled meetup the A/C in my room, lights, unfamiliar bed, etc all conspired to rob me of my sleep again, so in the wee hours I emailed him my apologies as although I'd done everything right to get to sleep (warm shower, melatonin, early to bed, even warm milk), it just hadn't happened, so I couldn't make it.

I was even more restless trying to sleep (I still needed sleep for my own health as well as the safety of another long drive) with the worry that he might not get the message in time and waste a drive over, so a few hours later in the morning I texted him simply an envelope emoji (in case he was with his better half) as a gentle nudge to check his email. This is what I got back:

I could hear the "let me speak to the manager" malevolence brewing in his tone, as opposed to a client who might actually be concerned about my health (like how it's compromised from living on the road and dragging hundreds of pounds of massage gear around), so rather than continue to grovel as if I'd been obligated to do so at all, I moved on. As I said, I'd required no deposit from this man (or anyone else), and I'd reached out twice, at the expense of catching up on my own sleep I was already desperately behind on, to also save him a drive over. If I were inconsiderate or a "rip off" I'd have done none of those things, and certainly I'd have never felt even the remotest twinge of concern or guilt.

Well after that I moved on east (this was a 2,500 mile journey in stages) and didn't pay any further attention to my St Louis RubRatings ad (a site on which I encourage brief g-rated reviews as opposed to review boards as they're allowed to be g-rated, addresses and contact info aren't in them, etc). After I'd made dozens of other stops I came back through St Louis the other direction and went to RubRatings ready to re-post my previous ad only to find this (note the date on the pic above and here):

See the $0? At this point "Tall Fella" is still admitting he hasn't seen me. There isn't a man alive who'd spend a dollar and, if displeased, not begrudge every dollar he spent. Really doesn't gel with the two other reviewers any more than it matches the 14 years of thank you notes I've screenshot. Pretty stark contrast between guys who've seen me and guys who've never been in the same room with me.

Well I deleted that RubRatings ad and posted a new one. "Tall Fella" though, still obsessed with me 2 1/2 months later, decided he wasn't going to let me "get away with" being a fallible human being who, working 13 hours a day 365 days a year, is sometimes unexpectedly ill or tired. So he decided to sign up for USA Sex Guide, possibly the grossest of the gross when it comes to escort review boards, just to "review" me again. 2 1/2 months later. Over an appointment that never happened. But this time he wasn't going to say $0 and make it obvious we hadn't met. No, that didn't pack enough punch. This time he was going to flesh it out a bit and pretend we had. Still no "met me at the door wearing" type actual details these boards are known for though. It's almost like he didn't have those details to give.

"Tall Fella" didn't even bother to change his handle from RubRatings. Only a guy who'd never met me would title a comment about me "escort", no offense to my FS offering colleagues. Escort services are not logistically what I offer, and never have. I don't advertise in escort sections, I advertise in massage sections, and always did. And only somebody who was cyberstalking me, stewing for 2 1/2 months over a complete stranger he'd never met, would call my one point screening "a bunch of hoops". FS providers (actual escorts) have hoops. Plural. To see a single provider you might have to provide references, pics of your ID, your real life info AND send a deposit. I require one thing. One.

But anyway, we're "reviewing the reviewer" here, right? Ok.

So based on the fact that I had no schedule after this one until-that-moment-unknown-to-the-board crank posting the vaguest nonsense imaginable, I can only surmise "review the reviewer" means that automatically outweighs a veteran provider of many years providing a whole media library for you to peruse: dated verification videos, pics verified by various ad companies, RS-AVS verification, screenshots of 14 years of unsolicited "thank you, that was great" notes... Wait, are we really STILL trying to pretend there's some sophisticated discernment going on here?

Here's some "expert" discernment in action...

A "senior member" just congratulated this one post just-joined-today anonymous handle for giving out the "real dirt" on me. The entire media library I provided about myself was worthless, because all that mattered was some anonymous handle that just joined their site expressly to shit post about me. Oh and side note: said senior member not only doesn't want to give screening info to providers but declines to give his NAME.

And the sad part is this was on its face a completely unnecessary exchange. First, my website makes it clear that "senior member" here was filtered out before it became necessary for he and I to talk, which is the whole point of my website. My website literally exists to cut him and everyone like him off at the pass. He gets the info, sees he's not willing to live up to it, and goes his own separate way. What did "Tall Fella" add to SM's knowledge base that my website didn't already provide? What did "Tall Fella" himself even lose out on, having never spent a dime on me or even been inconvenienced by a wasted drive to my location? The fact that I was worried about inconveniencing him throughout an entire night when I was already several nights deep into sleep deprivation certainly didn't stop him from building me up in his mind to a giant ogre of a woman who RRAWR!! had taken things from him somehow, so he had to report me online. I had to be stopped!!

And honestly if these review boards were a closed loop where cyberstalking entitled assholes advised other misogynists who don't care about women's safety about me? I would actually welcome it. The trash could take itself out. It's the part where this uploads to Google then... remember how at the beginning I mentioned the guys who "only read" these boards? They Google me, find this stuff, and there's ZERO "reviewing the reviewer". There's ZERO "taking the average". They see ONE random crank, never consider his "review" says zero dollars or his entire post history started and ended today with one post.

Stop patting yourself on the back for being more discerning than you are, and stop giving clicks to these digital cesspools. Stop telling yourself you "need" reviews of providers who've already built an entire media library to verify themselves to you and whose websites have the ring of authenticity and honesty. Stop valuing the word of a random anonymous handle over the word of a fully formed human being you can see and talk to directly (yes! you can talk! directly! to women! incredible!) on social media.

And don't ever get too comfy with my website address or name, because every time some BS like this happens I'm moving my online location. If you like me, stop chasing me away. Every time you add me to one of these boards in a "complimentary" fashion I go somewhere else, too. I've fired 7 cities over "complimenting" me on escort review boards. If I haven't already added myself to a website (like RubRatings) please don't add me to a website in any capacity. You entrust me with your info, so I guard your info. I would never behind your back put your name, a vague description of your address (like a man listed the two cross-streets I was staying on recently), and your contact info. If you "won't give your real name" in screening but you're yapping about providers on a board every chance you get, you're projecting just how much you can't be trusted, not providers.

Just in the past two years clients have not only added me to boards but done insane things like yell "Vanessa! I just had an appointment with you earlier today!" at me in WHOLE FOODS. One showed up at my door with the lens of their phone pointed toward me filming me, presumably to share a "gotcha" post with the "boys" back on ye olde review board (because my mountain of looks verification videos aren't enough to, um, verify what I look like). It's always people who do a thing themselves who imagine and accuse other people of doing it, just look at accusatory prudes who turn out to be sex offenders or cheaters who constantly accuse faithful partners of cheating. I have ethics and respect for the privacy of others. I don't scream "Hey Bob it was great rubbing your butt earlier today!" at you in crowded grocery stores. I don't FILM you for fucks sake!! Try, just try, to respect my privacy like I respect yours. This isn't unilateral "she's given up all rights to her privacy because she's a product and I'm the consumer" territory. I won't see you unless I have your info, too. Once I have that info I choose to not act irresponsibly with it. THAT'S how respect works: mutually.

You can have review board quality "massage" that some knuckle dragging no screening troglodytes from yet another board (there are so many) with whole categories dedicated to "bareback" FS recommend, or you can meet a provider shady, gross guys who inhabit those cesspools want nothing to do with. The latter should recommend me more than the former.


Recent Posts

See All

Hey girl