My name is Vanessa, not "babe", "doll" or "hun". I know not every guy who says these is a creep. But every creep is a guy who says these. You won't sound like a creep calling me my name.
We're scheduling an appointment, not talking about it. Please don't describe excitement, how much you like an outfit in a picture, or mention anything except the time and place, thanks.
No, I don't work on couples or women. Ever. Click here before you ask.
"Where'd you fly in from?" I drive. Always. It takes literal hours at the beginning and end of every visit. I can't start those drives until I've heard from at least a few of you. I can't make reservations until I've heard from at least a few of you. Imagine all logistics in terms of me driving hundreds of miles for hours at a time and being stuck in I know nothing limbo until you pre-book. I can't set out on the road and only hear from every person after I've arrived. I'm never sipping a cocktail on a plane somewhere like a smartly dressed young woman who'll jauntily toss her hat in the air after she arrives in the big city. I'm hands at 2 and 10 with the biggest coffee I can find at my side fighting my way through construction zones and weather and bad drivers, week after week after week.
We're scheduling for the time you give me, so please tell me that time. I can't itemize an entire day or multiple days no matter how many times I'm asked "so what does your availability look like". Just tell me the time you need. If we need to tweak that at least we had a starting point because you specified an actual time to talk about instead of me having to somehow conversationally rattle off the beginning, end, and drive/shower time surrounding every errand, gym class, and appointment over an entire day or days.
Please do google me. Please don't confuse me with that Rozanne person from LinkedIn, Manta, etc who comes up in search results. We don't know each other, at all. All I know is she can't spell the word "therapist", and links to her keep rising in search results, which tells me guys are probably doing what guys would do thinking she's me. Don't confuse her pics with mine. Don't call or text her saying things because you think she's me. Don't show up at her posted address looking for me. Absolutely never under any circumstance schedule her then make physical overtures for sexy massage because you think she's me - that's exactly how you get the therapeutic industry to blame FBSM therapists for them getting harassed, then they come after us. I don't post strictly therapeutic massage anywhere on the internet. I don't have a physical office. I would never in a million years "accidentally" leave a street address or any personal info at all just lying around on the web. "Hands Of Enchantment" is a pretty common play on words from the state motto "Land Of Enchantment". Other businesses like art galleries and a puppet troupe have also used the same play on words. I'm not an art gallery or puppeteer any more than I'm some woman from LinkedIn or Manta. I'm also not the person from Texas. I'm me and only me. If it doesn't have handsofenchantment DOT COM on it, that isn't me.
Please don't be early. I'm extremely flexible during my hours with giving you the time you need (with notice), so once we set that time please arrive at that time. Because we live in a world where providers are constantly scrutinized by nosy neighbors and front desk staff, please don't be even slightly early. It may not look like any big deal that you're sitting in your car out front for 15 minutes, but it will definitely not be an issue if you simply wait in a nearby parking lot rather than mine. Never enter my lobby or hallways and call or text after you're inside. Please don't send "traffic was light so I got here earlier than expected, but no rush". Texting that will create stress and pressure whether you say "no rush" or not. Want to not see a provider with soaking wet shower water footprints all over her floor or a bleeding eyeball from stabbing herself with a mascara wand? Just call or text at appointment time from your car, and please don't enter my building until after I've given you my room number, thanks.
Please don't expect a high rise incall. I'm on tour 365 days a year. Literally. (As I said above, I'm NOT some woman with a physical street address posted online - there is no address to post.) Can you imagine what it would cost you to pay for hotel rooms literally every day of the year? I'm also carrying a massage table everywhere I go. The high rise hotels you imagine are so sexy and great are in reality the opposite of discreet. They come with features like key card access elevators and bellmen who insist on carrying all luggage (then chat me up with "oh is this a massage table" before going back to gossip with the staff about it as soon as they leave my room). In addition to that, the higher the building the stuffier the air and the more poorly I sleep. I don't do my best work when I'm chronically exhausted. I will not stay in poorly reviewed or unsafe hotels or neighborhoods. I will, however, stay in well reviewed but modest hotels in good neighborhoods. Easy access to fresh air, windows that open, the shortest distance to getting all my stuff in and out, and A/C cold enough for me to sleep at night once you all go back to your comfy familiar beds is way more important than some status brand. If you need to get a genuinely great massge, I'm your girl. If you need to be impressed by smoke and mirrors and hype, there are a million bad "massage" providers out there to choose from, but OH! That fountain in their atrium lobby! Just breathtaking!
Being a repeat shouldn't make you act like an entitled douche. It does mean I wholeheartedly appreciate you and we build a warm rapport. It doesn't mean you unlock a secret menu. It doesn't mean you now get to do the things I just mentioned above. It doesn't mean you can text "hey babe see you're back in town I can be there in 30 minutes". I need notice from everyone, whether new or repeat. I need notice because that's how life works. I need to check multiple chains and fine print for the limited options I can book (basically trying to spin gold out of wheat because the industry has a painfully dumb "elite" mythos but I have a tight budget), drive several hours to cities, check in, pack a luggage cart full of my stuff, wrestle it to my room, unpack it, catch my breath, get centered and pretty. I have to schedule other appointments so I can come here. Me not doing any other work besides you wouldn't give me any resources to drive several hours and check into a hotel before I ever see you, and in much the same way that everybody goes to restaurants and movies at the same time of day, guys tend to concentrate massage requests within a few finite peak hours. I also need to go to the gym so I look like I go to the gym. I need to walk in the woods and de-stress so when you meet me I'm a funny entertaining woman, not a burnt out wreck. Don't text just "hey" or "what's up" when I'm nowhere near your city but I am somewhere as usual killing myself to drive, make arrangements, do this actual job (it is very much a job, and not even remotely an easy one). Please state an actual time, give me notice, and expect FBSM every time.
Check in time is 3 PM. Check out time is 11 AM-12 noon. This is universal. That means when you ask "are you still here tomorrow" and it's not because you can't make it today but just because you have a whimsical preference for a different day, what you're really asking is for me to throw away half of what you'd give me just to pay for another day's incall to see you in - and that burden is 100% on me and me alone as guys almost never offer to offset that extra expense. In addition to that I lose yet another day to the constantly cyclical monthly billing cycles of extraordinarily high bills I live and breathe trying to pay off (accrued from paying for incalls to see clients in, not indulging myself). I need to schedule a few appointments within the shortest number of days I can pay to be in a hotel, not have a slow drip of extending 5 times for 5 more days for only one appointment for each of those 5 days. Once I've arrived in town please try to schedule within the next 24-48 hours so I can wrap up a productive and short visit, as time really does deartly cost me money - vast sums that I don't have. I'm not here for sightseeing. I'm everywhere to work and only work, and even my "personal" activities like working out and decompressing are ultimately done to be better prepared for work. I'm here under extraordinary pressure to schedule a number of appointments within the shortest period of time. I have to recoup. The costs are astronomical, so every single visit is a race against the clock. This isn't hard to figure out if you just imagine having to do this basic math for yourself. Want to spend more time with me? Schedule more time.
Please don't ask me to hang out during my "free time" then decide you won't be a client anymore after you've put me in the awkward position of having to say I can't afford to do that. You know how a good person who works their butt off at 3 jobs just to get by doesn't have time for socializing? I am that person. Please don't put me in an awkward position asking me to socialize "off the clock". There is no off the clock. I can't afford to ever be off the clock. Literally every waking hour of my life my mind has to be on this business. Imagine if your ENTIRE LIFE were your job. That's my necessary reality just to try to survive. Feel bad for me that I literally never get to take a vacation or have a day off or make friends outside the industry or plant a garden or have a home or know where I am when I wake up in the mornings or know where I'll be sleeping most nights or feel like there's any kind of future at all for me to hope for? BOOK APPOINTMENTS. I can't pay bills with compliments either. Thanks.
"I've seen your ads on several visits and finally got comfortable enough to reach out" isn't the icebreaker you think it is. Basically a mountain of evidence I continuously scream into the void that I'm legit (won't talk about services or "money", don't make unrealistic claims or promises, don't post pics a reverse image search on Yandex would show are from clothing ads or famous Instagram accounts, isn't "24/7", clearly isn't local (with the extent of my real travels easily verifiable by simply googling handsofenchantment.com), screens without exception, and FFS is verified by RS-AVS) wasn't something you could internalize to see me now? So I instead had to drag myself endlessly around the country barely breaking even (or often not even that) for months on end to make you comfortable? Your *one* belated appointment is my prize for months more of my life having gone to a solitary twilight existence of hotel room to hotel room and thousands I couldn't afford to spend? An endless hall of mirrors of me never making anything at all because you, the guy on your left, AND the guy on your right are all waiting till "next time"? So motivational. So exciting. Can't wait to visit again. Love to be like the all too common depressed comic on tour routine... but the punchline is THIS TOUR NEVER ENDS lololol so fun. Listen: I'M HERE. NOW. BOOK. Don't "next time" me, PLEASE. I scratched and clawed against enormous odds to be here NOW. BOOK THIS TIME. THIS IS THE TIME. THIS IS THE VISIT. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.
Screening isn't optional. It isn't optional because "you really really really want to see me though". It isn't optional if it's a slow week. It isn't optional if no other providers are screening. The "logic" that if I'm already stretched to my limit with overhead expenses I could be talked into also facing thousands in legal or medical expenses not to mention being forced completely out of work by the repercussions of skipping screening has some massive holes in it. "Just massage" isn't less of a risk. In some states it's far more of a risk than if I were offering bareback anal. I refuse to let everyone else's (clients and providers) ignorance of actual facts be a me problem.
Don't join my mailing list if you're not going to check that email or ever respond (until you finally do to say "who are you and how did you get my email" because you forgot joining it). Seriously tired of wasting time with this, and in all likelihood getting spam status because guys who forgot they contacted me to ask me to do this click "this is spam" once I actually do. I have 50+ cities on my drop down list (that I base travel to in large part on the # of inquiries for each city). There are only 52 weeks in a year. Even if I only visited each city for a couple of days (only weekdays count as weekends don't work for most people), the most frequently you would hear from me is once every 6 months. And I end up visiting cities for longer than 2 days almost always as guys slow drip drag out me extending (above). So "how often do you come here" could be no more than once per year. You forgetting that you asked me to put you on my list shouldn't result in guys freaking out and asking "WHO IS THIS" or hitting "this is spam" in a paranoid kneejerk reflex months later, yet here we are. There's a better than 50% chance of me ending up in everyone's spam folder even when you do want to hear from me thanks to this, so please manually use the "this is not spam" feature to whitelist my email - this will offset all the amnesiacs who teach the algorithm I'm "spam" thanks to their own forgetfulness. Don't just "find me in spam" and respond. If you don't deliberately take a manual step to safe list my email I'll continue to end up in your spam folder, and you'll eventually wonder why I'm "not replying" or "not letting you know when I visit like you asked" or you "haven't heard from me in years".
Yahoo email is actual garbage, so please stop using it. Gore Vidal called us the United States of amnesia, and he's right, as countless clients either don't know or immediately forgot the multiple times Yahoo allowed every single user in existence to get their accounts hacked. They also seem to not know or care that Yahoo partnered with Oath to spy on the contents of everyone's emails even more aggressively. Yahoo couldn't even sell itself at one point. Yet for sensitive communications with adult providers guys continue to use this email provider vs multiple other free ones (protonmail, outlook, gmail, mail.com, etc). Guys who don't want to send basic screening info will instead send often explicit (not to me but to other providers) requests using Yahoo ffs. It truly boggles the mind. But my main reason for begging you to stop using this raw sewage of an email option? It almost ALWAYS routes me to your spam folder. Please. For the love of god. Use ANYTHING else.
The stuff you're sure will arouse me and turn this into something I've repeatedly said it isn't going to be is the opposite of arousing. No you don't have to nervously keep your hands glued to your side because omg what if you do the wrong thing. I literally put a TON of green check marks on my "original art" page. The vast majority is checked YES. But no is actually NO. Not no as in "maybe". Not not as in "wear me down". Not no as in "sneak around the side". No means NO. "So what turns you on" ploys are so unoriginal it's embarrassing. Persistent (more often than not like a vise grip and without anyone asking first) pinching is painful but something I sometimes have to choose to ENDURE (note "endure" is as far from "enjoy" as one can possibly get) so as not to ruin your appointment. All other "ooh maybe this will work" exploratory missions are equally obvious and equally futile, and it's pretty tiresome to have to constantly say "I really meant no when I said it over and over and over on my website". I don't mind sensual touch. I actually really love a hand sensually and slowly sliding up and down the outline of my body. What I can't stand is nonstop reaching and grasping and prodding that screams GIVE ME HOLE GIVE ME HOLE GIVE ME HOLE. Sex is NOT going to happen. You come to me to relax and get a massage. You're not here to steer the ship at all, much less into full service. Escorts already exist to give you escort services. What they're not going to give you is quality therapeutic and sensual massage. Oh they'll exagerrate and lie and say they will pretty routinely. Words are cheap. What they're not going to do is deliver quality therapeutic and sensual massage. Schedule with the provider you want for the service you want. Pushing boundaries is perfect if what you're looking for is diminished appointment quality and providers who grit their teeth but can't wait for you to leave.